My name is Tammy, and I placed my son, Max, a little over five years ago. I cherish the moments I have with Max and continue to see him as often as I can. I feel very lucky that my experience has been such a positive one, and I value and adore his new family.

When I was in the hospital having Max, Susan, who is Max’s adoptive mother, was in the birthing room with me. My mom was also there supporting me and acting as my birthing coach. The hospital staff were aware of the circumstances and they were flexible and also understood this unique and real situation. Hours went by, and the time had come when Max was ready to enter his new world.

Susan and my mom had worked well together and I’m grateful that these two special women were by my side during this difficult time. After Max let out a “hello” holler, the staff conducted their routine checks and tightly wrapped him up in a warm blanket. I, on the other hand, was beginning my recovery from exhaustion.

Susan was standing nearby, and the nurse who was holding Max excitedly approached Susan with the new bundle of joy. The nurse then extended her arms toward Susan with the intent for her to be the first to embrace Max. Susan did not immediately take Max from the nurse, but rather looked over at me and said, “Tammy, may I?”

I looked at Susan with tears in my eyes and said, “Yes, you may hold him.” At that moment I had solely witnessed respect from an adoptive mother to a birthmother, which in simpler terms really is one mother to another.

Respecting a birthmother can pave the way for a very healthy and special birthmother-adoptive mother relationship. Thank you Susan, for a heartfelt moment of respect that I will never forget.