Mary was adopted through The Cradle in 1954. Her family lived in New York, where Mary and her brother, another Cradle baby, grew up surrounded by love. Her parents discussed adoption openly with Mary, and her baby photo appeared on Cradle brochures for many years. However, since it was far away, The Cradle and Chicago felt like a “mythical, mysterious place,” of her origin.

Reconnecting with The Cradle

Years later, as a young adult, Mary took a six-month trip around the world to study nonviolence. On her way home to New York, her final flight was through Chicago. As this was the first time Mary would be back in Chicago since being adopted, she took the opportunity to visit The Cradle, unsure what to expect.

She still remembers the moment vividly. “I waited in that big living room, where the walls were covered with photos of babies, families, graduations and weddings,” she recalls. “I saw a bit of myself in every photo. It felt like I had a gazillion long-lost siblings!” She took a tour, following the same path she had taken as an infant. “I got the sense of being held by this place I had left thirty years before,” she says.

She requested her background information, and when it arrived in the mail weeks later, she was floored. “It felt as if someone gave me a piece of myself that was missing,” Mary says. “Like magic, I was instantly more whole.”

A few years later, Mary received a letter from The Cradle that included an unexpected gift: her birth footprints. “It took my breath away,” says Mary. “I suddenly felt in the core of my being — I was born! I knew intellectually, of course, that I had been born, but I didn’t realize until that moment that I carried a sense of disconnection from that primal reality. It was an enormous, life-changing gift.”

Expanding the Circle of Family

Over the years, Mary continued to connect with The Cradle, reaching out whenever questions or feelings emerged. She attempted to locate her birth month, who was also adopted, but her search was unsuccessful.

However, as DNA technology advanced, Mary tried again and made a breakthrough. Via Ancestry.com, she matched with two first cousins, which opened the door to the rest of her extended birth family. Mary has since connected in-person with brothers, an aunt, nieces, nephews and cousins. “That’s been an amazing adventure in and of itself,” Mary shares.

Finding Connection Among Fellow Adoptees

Reconnecting with her birth family generated more questions for Mary, which she brought to The Cradle. Around the same time, the COVID-19 pandemic pushed most of The Cradle’s programs online. This meant that Mary could virtually attend a post-adoption support group series, focused on the Seven Core Issues of Adoption, and discuss these questions and experiences with fellow adoptees. She jumped at the opportunity

The material was eye-opening for Mary, but even more important were the connections she made. This group of Cradle adoptees, who had a forty-year age range attending from across the country, formed a meaningful bond

“We felt this odd sense of siblinghood from our time at The Cradle,” she recalls. “Even though everyone had different journeys, we understood each other’s core. We found support and solidarity in one another.” 

Mary remembers an emblematic moment of connection with one adoptee. During one session, Mary spoke about the “primal, wordless grief in the pit of her being,” that she carried throughout her life for her birth mother. “Afterwards,” she recalls, “someone cried out, ‘Oh my gosh! You just put into words what I’ve been feeling all my life but didn’t have the language for!’ That’s the kind of thing we got out of this group.” 

When the six-week series concluded, the group wasn’t ready to part ways. They continued to meet on their own — once a month, on Tuesday evenings for the next two years. They discussed different aspects of their lives through an adoption lens that other people couldn’t understand, which became a powerful remedy to the pandemic’s isolation

Mary formed a particularly strong bond with a Cradle adoptee named Judy, pictured below, who lived nearby. Mary calls Judy her “Cradle sister,” and still sees her regularly.

Mary, now happily retired, continues to “sing the praises” of The Cradle and the adoption community she found. “My adoption journey was riddled with intense feelings and moments. But The Cradle and the people I met in the post-adoption support group helped me feel less alone with it all. We now accompany each other emotionally as we continue our journeys. The Cradle will always be one of my homes, one of my families.”