An adoption lifebook tells the story of how a child became a part of their family. Read our practical guide on how to make a lifebook, what to include and why they can be meaningful to you and your child.
What is a lifebook?
An adoption lifebook is a special way to document and share your child’s story from the very beginning. They contain information about the child’s life and history before and after adoption. Children adopted young will not remember the details about their birth families and their adoption story. Lifebooks gather everything you know in one place. They can be used to help children understand how they came to be a part of your family and are a powerful way for them to share their adoption story with others.
Why are lifebooks important?
Lifebooks are more than just a keepsake. They help children form a more complete sense of identity by providing information about their birth and adoptive families. For children, having access to these details early on can help them answer questions about their past and where they come from. It can even offer insight into traits or interests they may share with their birth or adoptive families. Sharing your own adoption journey — how you came to the decision and how excited you were — can help reinforce to your child that they were always wanted and loved by you.
What do you include in a lifebook?
Just as each child’s story is unique, no two lifebooks are the same! But there are a few important elements you may want to include:
- Details about your child’s birth parents, siblings and family, if available
- Your adoption journey, how you prepared to be their parent, and photos of your first trip to The Cradle or your adoption agency and your adoption classes
- Your child’s birth story and any pictures you may have from your placement or hospital visit
- Details and pictures about your match meeting with the birth parents, including any texts or other correspondence after the meeting
- Letters, photos or other updates you send to their birth family, or from visits with them
- Information about their first steps, first words and other milestones
For intercountry adoptions, there may be additional considerations for your lifebook, especially if you child was older at the time of adoption:
- Information about your child’s country of origin
- Photos of your journey to their country
- If they lived in an orphanage or with a foster family, ask for information and photos of where they lived, their caregivers, favorite toys, food they liked and special occasions they celebrated
As your child grows, their lifebook can grow with them. You might add school pictures, artwork they made and new memories from birthdays, holidays or visits with birth family members. You may find that it’s harder to keep up over time, and that’s okay! But you and your child will find any and all details meaningful, especially in the beginning.
How do you address sensitive topics?
Sensitive parts of your child’s adoption story, such as abuse or addiction in their birth family, may not be appropriate to include. While this information should be shared with your child at an age-appropriate time, more difficult situations may be better expressed in ways other than a lifebook, such as a session with an adoption-competent therapist. Your child may want to share their lifebook with friends and family, and they should decide what details of their story they are comfortable sharing.
How do you make a lifebook?
There are many ways to create a lifebook! Some families prefer to make theirs in a large binder or a memory book, which allows you to keep adding new pages as your child grows. Others might use online services like Shutterfly to create a printed lifebook for each year of their child’s life. However you choose to make it, it’s important that it reflects your child’s story in a personal and meaningful way.
If you’d like more guidance on creating an adoption lifebook, check out “Lifebooks” from Adoption Learning Partners. It offers a step-by-step guide to help you assemble your lifebook, with plenty of resources to help you along the way. If you are interested in learning more about adopting a child, visit our Adoption Services page.
