Expectant parents considering an adoption plan for their child meet with prospective adoptive parents at a match meeting. Learn how this process works and what to expect.
What is a match meeting?
Meeting for the first time is a significant step for expectant parents and hopeful adoptive parents. It is a little like a blind date. There is often a mix of nerves and excitement for both parties as they get to know each other and work towards the common goal of finding the best possible situation for the child.
Typically, expectant parents choose prospective adoptive parents based on their profiles, and the match meeting allows them to explore whether they’re a good fit. Because of the amount of information that needs to be covered, there may be multiple match meetings — sometimes two or three — or everything might be covered in just one meeting. They can occur during pregnancy or after the child is born.
Match meetings are facilitated by counselors
At the match meeting, both the expectant parent counselor and the adoptive parent counselor are typically present to facilitate the conversation and ease any initial awkwardness. They ensure that all important questions are addressed and that their clients’ needs are met.
These counselors also create space for the complex emotions that may arise. Before and after the meeting, the counselors communicate with each other to discuss how their clients are feeling and plan next steps. Expectant parents may also choose to bring additional support, such as a parent, partner or friend, to help them feel more comfortable.
Match meetings are flexible
No two match meetings are exactly the same! Expectant parents have a significant say in how, where and when they take place. Their counselors take the unique needs of their clients into consideration when arranging the meetings.
While Cradle-organized match meetings often take place at our headquarters in Evanston, they can also be held in a neutral location that is more convenient or comfortable for the expectant parent, such as a library or restaurant near their home. If meeting in person is challenging — whether due to logistics or emotional reasons — virtual or phone meetings can be arranged.
Match meetings cover a lot of information
Whether there’s one match meeting or several, expectant parents and hopeful adoptive parents need to come prepared for an in-depth conversation. The adoption process is complex, and these discussions are an important part of making an informed decision. Common topics include:
- Personal stories, interests and employment details
- Expectations for openness and contact after placement
- Childcare and education plans
- The diversity of the hopeful adoptive parents’ community, especially in transracial adoptions
- Plans for the birth of the child
- The child’s name, often chosen together at the meeting
- Hopes and goals for the child
These are just a few of the many details covered in a match meeting. It is important to realize that plans made at this time can change for any number of reasons.
Match meetings can be emotional
Even if adoption feels like the right decision, expectant parents may still experience feelings of grief, anger, guilt or shame. The match meeting might be a time when the reality of their situation sets in. It is not uncommon for expectant parents to become overwhelmed. Counselors and support systems can step in to suggest ending the meeting early or taking a short break.
Prospective adoptive parents may also experience feelings of grief or nervousness during these meetings. The journey that led them to adoption may have been painful. While this can be an exciting time, it can also be challenging.
It is important that everyone is honest about their hopes, fears and feelings before, during and after these meetings with their counselor and support systems. A Cradle Counselor will listen with understanding. They are available to talk to those considering options, as well as after an adoption plan is made.
Visit our Pregnancy Support page if you are pregnant and need help figuring out your options or our Adoption Services page if you are interested in learning more about adopting a child. You can also call us at 800-CRADLE4 (800-272-3534).
