Dave’s Story: Bringing Together a Cradle Community

Dave, wanting to connect with people who shared similar adoption experiences, started a group for people connected to The Cradle in his area, fostering a space for community and support.

Dave was adopted from The Cradle in November 1965. Before adopting him, and his sister two years later, his parents had experienced loss in their journey to adoption. His birth mother was also facing significant challenges at the time. Reflecting on his adoption, Dave shared that it offered “redemption out of tragedy, for my family and hers.”

Dave always knew he was adopted, as it was discussed openly and positively. But it wasn’t until adulthood that he met his birth parents. On Mother’s Day weekend in 2010, he spoke with his birth mother for the first time. And in 2020, he connected with his birth father. Since then, he has stayed in touch with both to varying degrees.

In addition to connecting with his birth parents, Dave wanted to connect with others who shared aspects of his adoption journey. He reached out to Nina Friedman, The Cradle’s Director of Post-Adoption Support, for assistance in finding fellow people connected to The Cradle in the Washington D.C. metro area. She suggested he share his search on , where he found other folks who were interested in forming a group.

Approximately every six months, Dave and about seven other Cradle adoptees and adoptive parents gather at a local restaurant. Their meetings are informal, with no set agenda, and provide a space for everyone to share their unique adoption stories. Common discussion topics include relationships with birth families, reconnection journeys and their experiences in their adoptive families. These gatherings offer support, understanding and perspective that only those within the adoption circle can provide.

The group is diverse, with members ranging in age from their 20s to their 80s, and nearly every decade in between. Their stories are just as diverse. Some have never met their birth families, while others have formed bonds or are in the process of reconnecting. Dave says they share stories ranging from “heartwarming to hilarious to kind of tough.” What unites them is their connection to The Cradle and their commitment to supporting one another.

When asked what advice he would give to someone interested in starting a similar group, Dave’s message was simple: “Just do it.” He emphasized that you don’t need to be a professional to be there for someone, and even an informal gathering can make a meaningful impact. He highlighted how valuable it is to have like-minded people in his life. He also encouraged everyone to connect with The Cradle’s post-adoption support resources for guidance on this journey.

If you’re connected to The Cradle and live in the Washington D.C. area, Dave invites you to join their next gathering! You can reach him at david.lohff@yahoo.com to learn more about their upcoming meetings. If you are interested in starting your own group, please reach out to Nina Friedman at postadoption@cradle.org or consider joining The Cradle’s post-adoption Facebook page.

Susan’s Story: From Adoption to Authorship

Susan had always wanted to be a writer. After a years-long search for her birth family, she had a story to tell.

Susan Guillotte was adopted from The Cradle in 1953. At that time, closed adoptions, where neither the birth parents nor the adoptive parents have any identifying information about the other, were common practice. Susan did not have any information about her birth family, but that did not stop her from wondering.

When adoption practices regarding openness began to change in the eighties, The Cradle launched a post-adoption services department and instituted its own Mutual Consent Registry so that Cradle clients could be reunited through The Cradle. Susan reached out to The Cradle and began a long, sometimes frustrating process of trying to find information about her birth family. She remembers that the Cradle employee she worked with, Maureen, said it was one of the most difficult search processes she had ever done.

After years of navigating dead ends, Susan began unraveling a mystery and uncovered the truth about her birth family. The details of her journey are best discovered in her book, “Bunny: Based on a True Story.”

Susan always wanted to be a writer. In her sixties, she set out to make that dream a reality. One week into her retirement, when she had planned to write, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was determined not to let this stop her. She worked her treatment schedule around being able to write her story. In April of 2024, she self-published her book.

Susan’s book touches on difficult topics and a hard journey, but she is grateful for The Cradle for allowing her to tell this story honestly. She does not shy away from discussing the roadblocks she faced while trying to find answers, or the support she received from The Cradle and others when she felt like the whole world was against her.

When Susan’s husband of 47 years read the finished book, though he had lived through most of the events, he said he never knew all the emotions she was experiencing throughout her journey. Susan knew she had accomplished what she set out to do — use her story to give voice to feelings shared by so many touched by adoption.