Forever Family Questions
How much detail about the adoption process should I go into?
The Lifebook is the story of your child’s life, not yours, not your family’s. For infants and young children, you need not include lots of background information about the adoption process. Focus on moments that include your child such as the first time you met, the day he came home, and the finalization. If your child spent time with caregivers after leaving the birth parents but before joining your family, that should be included in this section or anywhere you feel it is appropriate. Older children really enjoy seeing their court papers and his preparation for adoption.
Should I include information about why I chose to adopt?
The Lifebook is the story of your child’s life, not yours, not your family’s. You need not include lots of background information about what led you to adopt, or the adoption process. Just include a few sentences on how much you wanted a child and how happy you are to have him.
Why is it important for more than one parent to write remembrances?
If you are a two-parent family, then each of you has different recollections about your child. Your child wants to know that she is special to both of you. She will cherish the different descriptions that you provide about the first moment you saw her, and how you felt when you brought her home.
Should I include remembrances from other people?
Many people are part of your child’s life and their remembrances of significant events in her life can be very valuable. Do consider asking siblings, grandparents, extended family, neighbors, friends, or anyone else who played a role in her beginnings such as nurses, doctors, therapists, and other caregivers to contribute specific memories to the Lifebook. You might also consult with them about specifics about certain events. Include a page for people who were waiting for your child to arrive and include their cards and e-mails of congratulations.
My child didn't have an easy adjustment. Should I include that information?
It’s not unusual for your child, and the entire family, to have a difficult period of adjustment. All families have to adjust to a new child in the home. Do feel free to include difficulties surrounding sleep or food or attaching. Also include difficulties other family members faced. It makes a good point to reflect on with an older child to show that like those early difficulties, you and your child will adjust to any new difficulties together.
Why is it important for more than one parent to write remembrances?
If you are a two-parent family, then each of you has different recollections about your child. Your child wants to know that she is special to both of you. She will cherish the different descriptions that you provide about the first moment you saw her, and how you felt when you brought her home.
How much detail about the legal process should I go into?
The Lifebook is the story of your child’s life, not yours, not your family’s. You need not include lots of background information about the adoption process. Focus on moments that include your child such as the first time you met, the day they came home and the finalization. If your child spent time with caregivers after leaving the birth parents but before joining your family, that information should be included in this section or anywhere you feel it is appropriate. If you do include legal papers, use them as a form of entitlement showing, “I am yours and you are mine,” legally and forever.