Birth Questions

What should I do if I don't have information about my child's birth?

When your child was placed with you for adoption, you should have received all the documentation about your child that the agency had in their records. Do your best to piece together whatever information you can about your child’s birth. If you are in contact with the birth parents, talk to them and ask about the circumstances of your child’s birth such as when and where. If they are willing, have them write something for this section. Suggest that they include their hopes and dreams for the child. Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know very much about your child’s birth. It is always better to tell your child the truth than to make up something that can be contradicted later.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know very much about your child’s birth. It is always better to tell your child the truth than to make up something that can be contradicted later. Be prepared to listen to your child’s thoughts and feelings about not having a full record. Without details you may want to add more objects or pictures such as colorful stickers of baby bottles and rattles.

A Lifebook is an ongoing project so you can begin to lay the groundwork early on but not go into details that would frighten or alarm your child. If your three-year-old child was born with exposure to drugs, you might say, “When you were born, you were very sick. You had to spend time in a special part of the hospital called a NICU.” Later they may ask you to share about what the illness was and what caused it.

If you have it, a copy of the birth certificate is a wonderful document to include in the Lifebook. Some people include mementos from the hospital such as an identification wristband or the baby footprint. Others include pieces of fabric from receiving blankets, a ribbon from a first gift or flower petals from a bouquet received.