All About You Questions

Should the Lifebook contain anything about current talents or just those that took place in the past?

Many Lifebooks, especially those that were created for children in foster care, end with adoption finalization. But just as a child’s life story didn’t begin when they joined your family, it doesn’t end once the adoption is final. Including information before and after the adoption can show a child that adoption is just part of the story.

Your child’s Lifebook can be a treasured artifact for your child, but it should not become an obsession for either of you. Include the information you know, seek out the information you don’t. Sometimes there will be gaps, either because information has been lost, was never documented, or because memories have failed. Do the best you can, but don’t worry about what has been left out. If your child asks about a missing piece, answer honestly, “Unfortunately, we just don’t know about that.” If they are upset, remind them that most people have gaps in their histories. Over time pieces of an individual’s history tend to get lost.

There’s nothing wrong with you documenting early likes or interests. In fact, it is good because it shows your child that you accept and value who they were before as well as who they are now. Young children are fascinated by their even younger selves and older children may be interested to see how their likes and dislikes change. But older children should take ownership of their Lifebook and decide what to include here.

Early concerns or fears may be of interest to children. It may explain current fears or be a point of discussion about fears in general. But older children should take ownership of their Lifebook and decide what to include here. If the fears or concerns are traumatic, consider working with a therapist.

There’s nothing wrong with you documenting past dreams or goals. In fact, it is good because it shows your child that you accept and value who she was before as well as who she is now. Children may be interested to see how their plans change. But older children should take ownership of their Lifebook and decide what to include here.