Even in families that have great communication and talk openly about adoption, tweens and teens face challenges they may not talk to you about.
These are tough years and adoption can make this time a bit more difficult to navigate. Dori Fujii, LCSW and adoption therapist, shares some insight into what your kids want you to know – even if they’re not telling you.
Middle School is HARD
Know that these are real feelings – even though your tween/teen may not share these feelings with you. After all, this is a time when formerly talkative kids often become more quiet and distant. Recognize the differences in your family – even if you’re not a “conspicuous” adoptive family
Continue to value the relationship with your child’s birth family whether or not you have an open adoption relationship. Provide your child with opportunities to develop an interest or skill that they feel good about….perhaps related to their birth family or culture. Strengthen connections to your child’s culture and adult mentors of your child’s background.
Consider a homeland tour to your child’s birth country. Validate their feelings and have ongoing discussions about adoption, difference and race – they’ll join the conversation when they’re ready.
If you’d like to talk with one of our post adoption therapists, you are welcome to at any time.
Click here to schedule a consultation.
Helpful Resources:
Adoption Learning Partners On Line Class:
Adopted: The Identity Project
Book:
How to Talk So Children Will Listen and Listen So Children Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish
Adoptive Parent Online Parenting Network:
Adoptive Families
